...it only took a moment's thought...: May 2010

When I was eleven years old my family moved from South Africa to Italy. It was a move that was very sad because I was moving away from the friends I had known all my life, but at the same time it was very exciting. It was a move that changed my life and because of it I have had so many opportunities that I wouldn't have had if we had stayed in South Africa...but that is a completely different story. When we arrived in Italy it was a complete culture shock. I was used to growing up outdoors, running around with no shoes on, in and out of the swimming pool...but when we arrive in Milan the kids all had posh looking clothing and hung out in groups outside the cafe and gelateria on their mopeds. I was this tanned blonde eleven year old, and to me they all looked like dark haired goths with their dark makeup and their black clothes (and puffy jackets). I felt like a complete outsider, especially not speaking the language. Once I started school I found it really hard because, although I was in an International School environment with english speaking teachers, I still didn't fit in. My brother and I were the only South African kids there and we had strong South African accents. I was bullied by this Italian girl Francesca, what a bitch, and the kids used to repeat everything I said in a bad imitation South African accent. So I decided to try and fit in by dressing differently, somewhat more trendy, although thinking back I wasn't doing myself any favors. I also, and this is the point I have taken a long time getting to, used to sneak my mom's mascara and put some on before I went to school. All the other girls were wearing make up and my mom under no circumstances allowed me to wear any, again not doing me any favors. As a got older I started sneaking blusher and lip gloss...(and yes I know my mother noticed...I only got told off when I over did it). so this was how my relationship with make-up started. I suppose I used it as a defense mechanism to protect myself from that bitch Francesca and her lemming friends. Luckily we moved schools the following school year. But what got me thinking about this was last night I pulled out all my make-up and looked at the collection. Now I only wear a minimal amount so I have this collection of make up I don't use, some that I bought for some reason or another. So i decided to have a play. I went for the dark eyes and the red lips. I wouldn't be cause dead with that much make up on in public now but it was fun doing it in the privacy of my bedroom. I guess my confidence has improved over the years and as that had happened the make-up has reduced - the battle defenses have been lowered to the point that I even go out with no make up on sometimes.